Enhance Your Lifestyle With NLP+© Series: Part 13

By: Shantanu Das Sharma, Sr. Associate Editor-ICN Group

Quick recap of what we have covered in Part 12

Recognize the Pygmalion Effect

Placebo Effect – Even Your Bio Chemistry Can Be Affected By Your Beliefs

How Belief Alone Can Cure Cancer

The Human Mind Cannot Tell the Difference between a Real and a Vividly Imagined Experience

Where is the Lemon?

This is Exactly How Some People Frighten Themselves to Death

Mind Rehearsal for Excellence… the Russian Athlete’s “Secret Weapon”

Physical versus Mental Training

Before Reaching Your Outcome, First See the Reaching in Your Mind

Evidence of Breaking the Beliefs of the World

KOLKATA: In 1954, one such person broke such a mental barrier that was set in long distance running. For hundreds of years, runners had never been able to run one mile in less than four minutes. Many had attempted this feat but had fallen short. As a result, it was generally believed, and supposedly backed up as fact by even the medical community, that it was not possible for a human being to run that fast!

Sir Roger Gilbert Bannister (23 March 1929 – 3 March 2018) was a British middle-distance athlete and neurologist who ran the first sub-4-minute mile. And he, a postgraduate student from Oxford University had set a goal to be the first to break this ‘impossible record’. The fact was that he was nowhere near being the best runner of his time. There were many other runners better than he. But this didn’t deter Roger. Besides physical training, he engaged in a lot of mental training. He kept visualizing himself breaking the four-minute time barrier. Then, on May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister stunned the world by running the mile in three minutes and 54 seconds. That was not the most amazing thing. What was truly amazing was that, within a year, 37 other runners had broken his record. Within the next three years, over 300 runners had repeated the same feat.

Then why was it that for so long, nobody had even come close to achieving it? The minute an ‘ordinary’ runner did it, then so many others could. This surely proves that what holds many people back in achieving their goals and fullest potential are not their lack of capability, but their beliefs.

And Our Beliefs Are Never Absolute Truth!

When our beliefs have such a great impact on the quality of our lives and even our physical well-being, then we must begin to examine if the beliefs we have are empowering us or limiting us. And if our beliefs are limiting us, we must choose to change them!

At this time, many people would argue, ‘But what if the beliefs I have are really true? What if I am really not good at selling? What if it the economy is really down and going to stay down? What if there are really no opportunities around? What if it cannot be done? What if I don’t have what it takes? What you must understand is that the beliefs you have are never absolutely true. Beliefs are not proven facts. They are nothing but perceptions, opinions, generalizations we make about the world around us. For every belief you hold, no matter how much you think it is true, there is always somebody out there with a totally opposite belief. And to them, their belief is as valid as yours is to you. If you believe that math is tough, there is someone out there who believes it is easy. If you believe that it is easy to make a fortune as a free-lance trainer, there is someone out there who believes it is impossible. If you believe that times are tough, there is always somebody out there who believes it is a great time to make money!

Hence the question is not whether a belief is true or not. What is more important is to ask yourself: ‘Does this belief empower me or does this belief limit me?’ ‘Will this belief help me to get the best out of myself to achieve my goals?’ Or,‘Will this belief hold me back?’ For example, in article one we said that ‘All of us have the same neurology. If it is possible for others (the winners), it is possible for me’. This is an example of an empowering belief. Is it absolutely true? I don’t know. What I do know is that because I have chosen to believe this, it has empowered me to achieve so much more than many of my peers who chose to believe that ‘yes, it is possible for others, but it may NOT be possible for me… because others have more skill, more money, more experience, more talent or whatever excuse they can think of. It is because of my powerful belief in myself that I had dared to set seemingly impossible goals and achieve them – such as topping in my MBA, writing a best seller book, leading companies, and turning around companies or completely switch to NLP Lifestyle coaching & training profession at a mature age of 50. I have discovered that all successful individuals share the belief that ‘everything happens for a reason’ and that ‘behind every adversity lies a blessing in disguise.’ But, can we say for sure that this belief is absolutely true? Of course not. But I have found that having this belief empowers me to get up from every failure and overcome any adversity, and gives me the strength to carry on. As a result, I eventually reach my outcome and it proves my belief to be true. At the same time if you choose to believe that every adversity is just your bad luck, bad fate or a punishment from god, then you will probably get depressed, quit and stop taking action. As a result, the adversity really becomes punishment, since you will never get what you want.

What You Believe Becomes True for You!

Though beliefs are never absolutely true, it becomes totally true for the person who believes in it! This is simply because whatever you believe becomes your reality. If you believe that you are stupid, then you will become stupid. If you believe that you are intelligent, then that is what you will experience. If you believe you are unlucky, then you will be unlucky. If you believe that great opportunities come your way, it will become true for you.

‘Whether or not you believe you can or you believe you can’t, either way you are right!’

– Henry Ford

And why is this so? Because our beliefs are one of the key filters that determine how we perceive the world around us. At any point of time you do not experience reality, but you experience your own perception of reality. Our brains are always deleting and distorting what we see, hear and feel. This is why two people can experience the same event, yet both perceive it very differently. For example, if two people had an argument, both parties will have very different accounts of what had happened. It is not so much that one or the other is lying, but both parties delete and distort what they experienced depending on their personal beliefs.

Have you ever experienced a time when your parents believed you were irresponsible. You could do a hundred things responsibly, but they only remember the couple of times when you were irresponsible. ‘Aha you’re doing it again!’ they say. We do the same things to our friends, family members and our colleagues. Once we make up our minds that a particular person is mean, we will tend to focus on all the times our beliefs are supported, and fail to notice all the occasions when that person acted generous. Even if we do notice it, we will distort it by saying that he must be up to something by being so nice! Heard that one? So, whatever we believe becomes real for us. It becomes ‘our truth’.

If you (as a woman) believe that all men are unfaithful, you will only remember and focus on all the times you saw and heard about men being unfaithful. You will tend to mentally delete all the instances when it did not support your belief. You will also tend to distort what you see and hear to support your belief. If your husband calls to say he suddenly has to work late, what thoughts will fire off in your mind? You may start having suspicions about him fooling around, since you believe all men are unfaithful. What is your likely reaction? You will probably question him, check on his every move and start getting paranoid, insecure and upset. As a result, the relationship may break down, driving him to do what you feared the most… because a nagging, suspicious wife is impossible to live with. I have seen so many instances when a person’s belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever you believe strongly about becomes a reality. This is because you take all the actions that support that belief, thus encouraging the result.

Some people I know have a belief that there are no opportunities to make money. They believe that going into business would be a disastrous mistake. As a result, they focus on all the news they read in the papers as well as what their friends tell them about ‘So and so who lost money, went bankrupt and failed in such and such venture’. This keeps reinforcing their belief and will prevent them from taking up any opportunities that come along. At the same time, I also know many people who believe that opportunities abound out there. Such optimists believe that it is easy to make money. And you know what? They do make plenty of money and find lots of great opportunities everywhere. Even when all around them are problems, such people would be able to see the silver lining in the dark clouds, and turn things around to become an opportunity for them.

HOW SOME TURN DISASTER TO OPPORTUNITY – For Themselves

Here’s a good example. When the SARS epidemic hit badly, many people started to believe that business would be bad and they would have to struggle to survive. I have a friend whose pet business suffered. But, instead of believing that the outbreak was a big problem, he focused on how it could be an opportunity for him. He quickly used his strong network of suppliers and sales agents to get into the mask and air purifier business and he made a big fortune.

A Perceptual Blind Spot – Has This Happened to You?

Have you ever experienced this? You are sitting in the living room watching television when your spouse shouts, ‘Can you go into the kitchen and get me the salt?’ ‘I don’t know where it is!’ you reply. She shouts back, ‘Go look for it! It is around somewhere!’ Reluctantly you get up and walk into the kitchen mumbling to yourself, I don’t know where the salt is.’ ‘How can I find it?’ Sure enough, you go in look around and you don’t see the salt. So you shout back, ‘I can’t find the salt’. She says: ‘Look carefully, it is somewhere around’. You look high and low and still don’t see the salt. Finally, your wife walks into the kitchen and grabs the salt from right under your nose and says, ‘What is this? Are you blind?’How does this happen? In psychology, it is called a scotoma or a perceptual blind spot. It is one of the most common examples of how a belief will delete what you perceive. If you keep convincing yourself that you will not be able to find the salt, your brain will internally delete the image of the salt even though your eyes may physically pick it up. Similarly, if you believe that there are no opportunities around and that times are bad, then you will delete everything that does not support your belief, and you will experience all the lack.

What Some Famous & Intelligent People Believed in So Strongly… We Now Know is Not True!

The tendency for most people is to insist holding on to their old, limiting beliefs because they believe it must be true! ‘But I am sure that my beliefs are true! How can they be otherwise?’ they insist. Let me ask you this question. Have you ever believed so much in something in the past, which you now know to be the exact opposite? I am sure you have. Even some of the most intelligent people on this planet have held on strongly to beliefs which have been conclusively proven to be false. Here are just a few examples.

(I facilitate Thought Leaders, Change Makers; Professionals & Business Owners translate NLP concepts into actions to achieve and elicit personal excellence. I conduct NLP Lifestyle Coaching Certification programs for individuals, corporate and celebrity clients. We will expalin about the ‘Creation of Beliefs’ in the next article and after that you will come to know in subsequent articles, how you can utilise concepts of NLP+ in all walks of your life to replicate the success blueprint of a winner mindset to win through life.  So, stay tuned every Monday & Saturday and fasten your seat belt to ‘Enhance Your Lifestyle With NLP+’)

My #1 Amazon Best Selling book ‘Awaken The Incredible Within – Incredible Is The New Giant’ is available at Amazon in English at  http://bit.ly/Awaken-The-Incredible-Within

Shantanu Das Sharma, Creator of the concept NLP Lifestyle Coaching with NLP+, Founder of Neuromind Leadership Academy is an Amazon #1 Best Selling Author, NLP Lifestyle Master Trainer & Coach, Clean Language Facilitator & Strategic Interventionist.